Cycle of Intimidation: Learning a Foreign Language

I need to learn to not be intimidated by every foreign language I am learning.

First it was French. Though I flourished in the high school classroom, I winced at the thought of trying to use (or understand!) Français in the world beyond those four walls. Though I didn't realize it at the time, looking back I realize that I really was in it more for the grade and for friends than for the language. I learned what I was required to learn and did well, but never pushed myself beyond that. Thus, I flopped when I got to college.

Then there was American Sign Language. A beautiful language. After taking a class every semester for the past five semesters, I'm happy to say that by last fall, I was competent--terrible, but competent. If I was given a specific topic (naming countries, telling a practiced story, etc), I passed with flying colors. But I had no social skills for day-to-day events. I gave up going to the weekly Silent Coffee nights (ASL students' social gathering), and after a semester abroad with no practice I fear that I have the little that I had. I can no longer take ASL classes, so my only option is attempting to socialize using only ASL.

Finally, I began German. It's strange that this is the language I've studied the least, and yet I am the most comfortable with it. In Wien, everyday Deutsch became second nature to me. I never had the courage to speak German with a native speaker who knew that I spoke English, but I loved hearing it around me always. I loved speaking it with friends and the Deutsch-isms that worked into our daily speech. At home, I missed the sounds of that language, and I was sick of hearing only English all the time. Now in the City, I hear Deutsch frequently once more, as many students from Germany live in my apartment. However, here I face a conflict of interest: every time I encounter a German girl-- as I brush by her or as she holds a door for me, for example-- I am caught between an "Excuse me" and an "Entschuldigung", a "Danke" and a "Thank you". And thus, the words become twisted in each other and caught in my throat, and I become the rude, ugly American and say nothing.

I hate that after five months in Österrecih, I still do not have the guts to offer a simple courtesy word to a native speaker who knows that I am American.

Feedback or advice is always welcome. And to conclude this language post, here is an old video that remains one of my favorite ASL vids:


Browse YouTube for other amazing ASL vids. Also, check out Scnappi and my German music post if you haven't already.